Yeah, so there’s a new judge in town and she’s feeling mighty judgmental!
I’m not talking about the type of judging (errr…feuding) Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj did on American Idol.
Nor the type of judging that scowling British dude does after making scads of cash from turning the business of being brutally honest into a multi-million, multi-national judging industry.
Who knew judging could be so lucrative?
And, why am I not making any money from my prolific judging habits?
You can read all about how adept my judging skills are in Part 1 of Judge Judgie McJudgerton.
For now, allow me to continue to pontificate from my stately judge’s bench…
I approach myself with an extremely critical eye that seems bent only on searching out faults and failures.
Even if there is a valid and/or natural reason for these shortcomings - I usually chalk it down to my own relentless inadequacy.
There’s a connection between how I judge myself and with how easy it is for me to judge the unsuspecting souls around me.
The idea of judgment gone unchecked reaches critical mass (pardon the pun) in relationships.
Any relationship – including the one you have with yourself.
But, also with the fortunate others in your life.
This is because it only breeds misunderstandings and worst of all dividing walls.
An attitude worth tearing down then, no?
Getting your inner Judge Judgie McJudgerton recused (taken off your case) is a lot easier than its indomitable façade suggests.
Here are some points of rebuttal to build your defense:
Forgive – Forgive yourself when you feel that you haven’t measured up in your own eyes. And, then forgive others in your life who deserve it the least.
Grace – Extend grace in those moments that you haven’t reached the standards set out for yourself When you make a mistake or aren’t very good at something, you want people to be patient and gracious with you. Do the same for them.
Be Kind – Shutdown that yapping voice of your inner critic and you’ll find that you won’t be as quick to gossip or feel the need to point out others’ faults in an unkind fashion.
Celebrate – Everyone has a modicum of inner awesomeness. Instead of focusing on what you are not able to do or do not have, lock into the things that you’re naturally good at and already possess.
Raise a toast to your inherent brilliance. Since everyone has it, then it only goes without saying that it is worth trying to sniff it out - especially in the most unlikely folks.
Get Rid of your God Complex - See people as non-static changing beings who have been
through a lot of things that you might not even be aware of. Therefore it is virtually impossible to fully understand their motives or behaviours. God sees the past, present and the future of each life and every single thing that they have experienced and endured.
Respect – The human-ness of people is always in danger of being smothered. All sorts of labels and barriers seek to keep us from really looking at people in the eyes and being able to appreciate their soul. She’s too fat. He’s so weird. They are good-looking so they must be shallow. All rich people are snobs. Accept yourself as being human. At the end of the day, human experience is shared by all of us - love, pain, fear, worship.
Ok! so the verdict is in…
We, the people, hereby sentence you to a life in freedom.
Where, you will be required to accept yourself, grab hold of what you alone bring to the table all the while handing out grace like candy –
With zero chance of parole!
by Priya Devalia
Copyright ©PRIYA H. DEVALIA 2013 All rights reserved